Changes

Luisiana Rosales

Eng 1A

Frankie Lennon

Changes

Change, it is a concept that is sometimes both feared and often sought after. In retrospect change usually means something is wrong with how you conduct yourself. Other times it just means there’s a better method of how to do something that is already competent; in other words, something for the better. When I thought about what I need to amend about myself, a rush of different things came to mind. Mostly physical appearances, but then again there’s only a select few individuals who can truly say that they are perfect in that department. How I envy those people who can honestly say that they find themselves perfect in every way, while people like me can’t help but notice the defects in myself. Overall, maybe that is my problem, I am too negative not only about my appearances but about everything as a whole.  What I need to change about myself is my overall negative outlook on life.

Conceivably my problem may not just be that I am too negative it may also be that I fear being let down. My fear of being let down may have been rooted when I was a child and I had expected something more than what actually occurred. Some people view this as natural because children always have high expectations because of their immense imagination, but I disagree as a child I knew the difference between what could happen and what couldn’t. For example when I was younger I had hoped my parents would purchase me a certain toy for my birthday because I had begged profusely beforehand for it, instead my parents got me the opposite of what I wanted. At the time I had to be grateful but something like this occurred on more than one occasion. So when the plausible didn’t happen my negativity set in to replace the feeling of disappointment.

In addition, if I wasn’t such a pessimist all the time then maybe certain obstacles in my life wouldn’t seem as dreadful as I believe them to be. But, because I’ve always believed that if I were to expect the worst then maybe the reality may not be as bad as I expected it to be. My expectation of the worst has always somehow aided me to never get my hopes up too high, because I expect that nothing I expect will ever come true. By having this mentality if the actual event that I predicted would occur, it just proved my point to never get my hopes up, fueling my pessimistic mentality.

However, as a child I had seemed to balance the idea of something good occurring but measured it well with a good sense of realism. For all one knows if I were to go back to that same mentality of my childhood self then I would be taking the chance of actually believing that something good may occur then perhaps my negativity would clear up with time. But suffice to say I shouldn’t take up all my old beliefs as a child otherwise I may begin to lay out cookies for an old fat man in a red suit. Instead I should make the transition to speculate for the worst but to hope for the best.